Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
