i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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