I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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