i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
