And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
