how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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