I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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