i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
