just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
