Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
