did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
this is an emotional support booty call
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