There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
