Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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