I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
