I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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