i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
