that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
