Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
