Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
