The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your cock deserves a montage
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
