Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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