I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
