the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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