i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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