party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
