Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
