Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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