There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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