They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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