my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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