Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
