We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it was like eating out sand paper
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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