Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
