So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize