sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
