If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
