I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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