I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
