sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
