id be glad to
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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