Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
