dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
this is an emotional support booty call
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
