My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
