It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
