pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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