Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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