i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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