Jerry, you need to find god
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
