That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
