'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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