I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
