You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
