'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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