I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize