I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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