I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
