We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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